you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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