hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Enjoy the penises
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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