lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
