he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
