Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it's like iHOP with fire
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
