so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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