It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
