he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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