If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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