When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A bitchslap is in order.
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