sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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