Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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