in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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