Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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