Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
