Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
FUCK WHALES
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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