normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
