Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
