"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
