rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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