Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
