I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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