you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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