Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
