Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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