I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
