I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
