3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
