I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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