its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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