Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
