There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
