so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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