You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
