Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
