We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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