I accidentally burped into my bong.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
