if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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