Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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