I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize