Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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