...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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