Non-Jews are for practice
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
is it fun? or sober?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
