oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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