how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
