Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
