at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
