He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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