I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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