Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
