today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i out mim tonsoeep
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
