this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
