My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize