Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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