i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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