i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
