Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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