How'd it feel making her break her religion?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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