everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
