I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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